12.01.2004

Isabella, Chapter Two

Isabella woke up with a start the following morning. Good morning, she said to herself. She rubbed her eyes, still half asleep. She wanted to go back to sleep but she couldn't.

Sighing, she reached over for her father's watch to read the time. Wonderful, she said, when she realized that the watch stopped working. She got up out of bed, and walked towards her window. Outside, she could hear the roosters flapping their wings and calling out the sun. She could hear the cook downstairs, preparing the pots and pans.

She stared at the tree that was directly across her room. It was so beautiful, she loved waking up early to watch the sunrise. The tree cast a beautiful silouette against the early purple, ruby and pink haze of dawn. Ruby red eyes, she remembered. Ruby red eyes that blinked.

She talked to Anthony about what she briefly saw yesterday, when she was having coffee with Anthony on the veranda. It was shortly after lunchtime, after Isabella dismissed her students in Spanish class. Anthony wanted to meet her to sample Manang Viray's freshly baked sweet butter roll.

Bright ruby eyes, blinking, from inside the hollow trunk of the huge acacia tree, staring at her as she worked, she told him. "And a hand. A small hand," she said pointedly.

"Maybe it was a bat, or a cat," Anthony said, in between sips of coffee.

"No, it was too big for a bat and a cat wouldn't fit in there. And besides, I haven't seen a cat around here for years," she said. "Maybe it was one of those duwendes."

"Duwende? I've heard about those. They're like little gnome people, right?," he said, trying not to laugh.

"Yes, in the old days, they were revered by the locals as benevolent spirits. This was before the Spanish came, of course. They would build small houses and leave food on top of the house, to entice them to come live with them. The white robed ones of course. The black robed ones will spread disease in your house. One of the maids sometimes leave out leftovers for the white ones. She said it's for good luck."

"So there you have it. A little gnome was inside that tree trunk. I think that's the best explana--," he said as he ducked to avoid the piece of bread that Isabella threw at him. "Hey! Watch it, senorita!"

"Tsk, you're making fun of my people. No, that's not what I'm saying. I just can't explain it, it was like whatever it was, it felt like it was guarding me. Protecting me."

"Well, if it was a duwende, I don't see how it can protect you. I mean, squish!" he said, as he slammed his palm on the table.

"A duwende can protect itself with powerful magic. Maybe it's protecting me," she humored. It was a pretty outdated belief. After Spain conquered a majority of the islands, belief in the old ways, pagan ways, was forbidden. Whatever she heard growing up has always been dismissed as an old wives' tale, and something that was meant to scare children into eating their vegetables.

"Unlikely," Anthony said. "because they don't exist. It's just the sun playing with your eyes."

Maybe it was, Isabella repeated to herself again this morning as she walked towards her closet to change. It was ridiculous to her, people don't believe in duwendes anymore. What am I saying 'maybe'? It's the sun! she argued to herself.

Tap, tap, tap.

She turned around, not really knowing where the sound was coming from. Tap, tap, tap.

"Manang Viray?," she asked. Maybe Manang Viray was calling her to breakfast. Tap, tap, tap. Although she knew the sound was not coming from the door, she opened it anyway, hoping that it was Manang.

She looked around, her ears straining for the tapping sound. Under the bed, maybe? she thought, as she dropped on all fours and looked. Nothing.

Isabella.

She froze. Was she hearing things? What about me? Then she heard it again. Isabella. Then tapping. And then she saw it. Or him. It was like watching your reflection settle on a basin of water. A stout little man, hunched over his walking stick, appeared. He was about as high as the bed, but abnormally wide, like he was flattened by her bed.

Startled, she started to get up and promptly hit her head on the frame of the bed. She then stood up and backed herself against her window, scared, but very curious.

As the stout little man walked towards her, she noticed the roosters stopped crowing. Instead, she heard the faint sound of water, like a stream, and birds singing, and a woman humming. Her window cast a shadow on the floor, and it looked like it was moving, as if the sun was rising too quickly. A soft summer cool breeze blew and the smell of flowers wafted into her room.

We've waited so long, Isabella. Please remember, the stout little man said, as he waddled towards her from under the bed. Was she hearing this, or is this all in her head?

She softened a bit when she saw the little man. He looked like he dressed up to meet her. He had unruly hair and a shaggy beard, but he obviously tried to smooth it down and tame it. He had an off white robe, adorned with dry leaves and jasmine flowers. His face was damp, as if he was crying, and he had the widest toothy smile she has ever seen.

"You must remember us. You must remember the old ways," the old man said to her, in a language she didn't know but clearly understood.

"I- I don't understand. I don't know you," she said. Her voice was different. Like she was singing. How odd, she mused. She wasn't singing, but her voice sang. And surprisingly, she knew it wasn't Tagalog, or Spanish, or English.

"Look outside, mistress," he said, as he wiped his brow with his handkerchief. "Please remember."

Isabella looked outside her window. Trees covered their entire property. Flowers bloomed everywhere. She saw a waterfall at a distance. It was an amazing sight to behold. It was like paradise.

"It's all so beautiful!," she exclaimed as she walked towards the window. "Where am I? What is this place?"

"Can you see the tree? My tree?," the stout little man said, smiling, as if expecting her to snap out of it.

"No. It was there a few moments ago. It was there," she said, pointing at a big well where the tree was. "What happened to it?" She turned around and the little man was not there anymore.

He then reappeared near the well.

"Home. That's where I live. You must remember."

"I don't understand," she said. "What is there to remember?"

"Home," he said, jumping into the well.

"What are you talking about? Wait!," she called out to him. She looked at the sky and saw the sun set as quickly as it rose, and suddenly it was pitch black.

"AY, SENORA ISABELLA!"

Manang Viray ran towards Isabella upon finding her hunched over her open window.

***
Good morning, she said to herself. She rubbed her eyes, still half asleep. She wanted to go back to sleep but she couldn't.

She was about to reach for his father's watch on her bedside table when she felt a damp washcloth on her forehead. Her blanket was tucked around her, up to her neck.

"Manang Viray," she said. Her eyes burned and it was as if her joints had sand between them.

"Hija, I was so scared," Viray said, hugging her. Somehow hearing her talk in Tagalog soothed Isabella. Viray has been with the Ibanez family for two generations. Isabella grew up under Viray's care, and Viray's affection for her has always been that of a doting mother.

"I woke up early to watch the sunrise, and then --," she started, and then stopped herself from saying more. Maybe she was sick when she woke up, but surely she didn't feel any worse than right now. What happened? What was that?

"I found you over your window, I thought you were going to fall out. You passed out."

"I was... How did I end up there?"

"I don't know, but when I held you, it was like you were on fire," Viray said. She wrapped her rosary around her hand and made a sign of the cross.

"I felt fine when I woke up. How long have I been asleep?"

"Five hours. Anthony came by, and he said he'll be back."

"Ay, Manang," she said. "I had the strangest dream. I guess I was delirious, but I saw an old man and he spoke to me. He was about this tall --" she said, gesturing her hand to show the stout little man's height, "and had white flowers all over his white robe."

Viray grasped the cross from her rosary and hurriedly kissed it and made a sign of the cross.

"Engkanto," Viray said quietly, and sat down.

"No, no, Manang, not those silly fantastic stories again. I was delirious, I was imagining things," she said, taking her washcloth from her forehead and propping herself up with her pillows. The door to her bedroom opened slightly.

"Ms. Ibanez, how are you feeling today?," a hand popped in from behind the door, holding flowers. It was Anthony.

"Come in, Anthony," she said in English. "Walang engkanto, Manang Viray. Hindi sila totoo."

"Shh, baka marinig ka nila," Viray said, as she rose up from the foot of her bed and kissed her on her forehead.

Isabella rolled her eyes. She loved her Manang Viray dearly, but she thinks she's too superstitious for her own good. Anthony looked at Isabella questioningly as he walked in.

"I caught what you said about dreaming and you being delirious, but I couldn't understand the rest of it. My Tagalog's a bit rusty," he said, putting the flowers on her bedside table, next to her father's watch.

"I told her about this little man in my dream. She immediately blamed the engkantos for my fever."

"Engkanto. Enchanteds. Like the little gnome people, the duwenders."

"Duwende," she corrected him. "I told her they don't exist and she shushed me and said they might be listening."

"That might be creepy. I bet their world is the creepiest."

No, it was beautiful, she thought. It was beautiful and I want to go back.

11.19.2004

Isabella, Chapter One

"Pienso que usted es un hombre que mira divertido," Isabella said playfully, as she unfolded her fan to cover her smile.

"Senora, please. I'm trying really hard. You know I don't speak good Spanish," he said to her.

"You know, Antonio, you're in a foreign land. You should try harder. I could be telling you something you want to hear," she said, as she folded her fan and smoothed out her skirt.

"Anthony," he corrected. "And I know, I know. But it has only been --"

"Hay Dios mio, it has been four years!" she exclaimed. She got up and walked towards the edge of the balcony. She looked out into her family's hacienda and stared at the mighty tree in the corner of the garden. "You moved here four years ago, and four years ago, I didn't speak a word of English."

"Well, it can be difficult. I picked up a lot of Spanish since then, but I just couldn't form a decent sentence," he said, as he stood next to her. He rested his elbows on the grate. "It's not as easy as you think, you know."

"Your English, I took the time to learn it. And I think I'm better at English than you are, Senor Antonio."

"Well, mi perro está en mi torta," he said haughtily. "So there."

Isabella gasped and then shook her head. "What a mean and inappropriate thing to say."

"I'm sorry, I- I- I don't even know what I said, the little boy across the street taught me that..."

She then cracked a smile. "'A dog in your cake'. I didn't think you were one of those people who ate dogs." She then burst into giggles, covering her mouth with her fan.

"No, no, no! I don't eat -- Hey! That wasn't very nice," he said, as she gathered her notebook and pen and stood up.

"Like I said, Senor Antonio," she said as she headed towards the steps that led to the garden. "Knowing our language has it's advantages. Goodbye for now, I will see you tomorrow. I have to attend to some business."

It was such a rarity that a woman upstages a man that Anthony was actually fairly amused. Maria Isabella Victorina Ibanez was not like any other women he has met. Isabella was a fiercely independent woman, always ready to pick at anything. But she was also very feminine, which makes losing to her such a pleasure.

Her fierce independence stems from being raised by her father, an avid supporter of the revolutionists. He refused to raise a woman who cannot defend herself, a concept almost unheard of in a time when women were shamed for being able to read. When he cannot teach her himself, about the languages and about the world, he supported some of the revolutionists, literary masters in their time, to give her a distinct advantage of being able to speak two, now three, languages fluently. She spoke fluent Tagalog and Spanish, and she became one of the very few women at the time who earned a living and tutored children and young adults the languages.

It wasn't until four years ago, when she met Anthony. He was part of the US Thomas contingent, a group of American teachers who signed up and was deployed to put up schools for the newly acquired US territory. Unlike the Spaniards who lived in morbid fear of educated indios, the Americans were eager to teach the residents about the Arts, Sciences and Mathematics.

She approached him one day as he was walking out of a converted school. She gave him a piece of paper that said "Escuela, Ingles". Anthony understood immediately that she wanted to learn English. She was a very eager student, and by the second year of him teaching her, she was already teaching him about Tagalog and Spanish.

"Good morning," she said in Tagalog to their resident gardener. The gardener immediately removed his wide brimmed hat, nodded back and put his hat back, and went back to trimming the hedges. She walked towards the large tree in the middle of the garden, where a group of women were gathered, mostly wives of the tenants that live and work on her family's property. It was two weeks before lent, and she was elected as organizer of the annual cenaculo.

The cenaculo, or passion play, was an anticipated event for the tenants on the hacienda. It was one of the few events on the property where women and children were actually involved. For the women, it was a chance to congregate with the rest of the wives. It was also a nice break from the monotony.

"Good morning ladies. Today we will cast Judas and Mary Magdalene. Any ideas?" she asked as she opened up her notebook.

Out of the corner of her eye, she thought she saw a pair of eyes, staring at her from with in the tree trunk.

Did I just see that? she asked herself. She was almost certain it was pink, and it blinked at her. She must have been staring for a while, because one of the ladies approached her.

"Senora? May bumabagabag sa inyo?"

"No, no, I'm fine. Thank you, Celia. I got distracted. I apologize," she replied in Tagalog. She went back to her notepad, and when she glanced at the tree, she thought she saw a small hand wave at her.

This is not right, she thought as the first batch of Mary Magdalenes came up on the make shift stage. She shook her head, and tried to focus. Maybe it's just the light.

11.18.2004

Prologue

BATHALA! she screamed in her mind. Help me!

She could feel blood ooze from her fingers as she clawed at the hard clay soil. Her lips trembled, her body shook. She had been sitting on the same spot for days now, gripping the loose top soil, sharp, jagged rocks penetrating her soft delicate hands. Her nails, now cracked, was caked with dirt and blood.

Her eyes used to be bright. Steely, mischeivous. Now, her eyes are dulled by death. A blank stare towards the heavens. Tree spirit goddesses like herself, a diwata as her people called her, do not shed tears. But she wanted to. She wanted to feel human. Humans shed tears. She has been staring at the sky for two days now. She does not need her eyes for she can survive without them. But maybe, if she looked up long enough, staring into the sun, the tears will form.

She has not blinked since it happened. Since she looked up and waited. Waiting for Bathala, her God, to look back at her.

Do something! she screamed inside her head. Anything! I can't make it stop!

A couple of feet away, she heard a grain silo topple over. A strong gust of wind knocked the structure down, and she could feel the grain as it swirled around her. She couldn't help but be curious, surely this was a sight to behold! Golden haze covering the skies, unsheathed golden rice grains, cascading like rain, moving around her.

She brushed her right hand across her mouth, wiping off some of the blood and spit. She felt her dry, cracked lips burst open, and blood gushed forth. Water. Of course, she can live without it, but she loved the taste of it. She saw life in it, humans needed it so much, they pray to her to keep it safe.

She brushed her hair off of her face as she rocked back and forth. Her once beautiful hair was now matted against her face. She held on to a clump and pulled down. Her hair tore off easily this time, not like the last time. She held on to a couple more strands and pulled. It calmed her down, she likes how this feels. She kept at it, it gave her hands a break from clawing the soil. Soon, clumps of it lay on her side.

She still remembers the screams. It still rings inside her head. Men, women, children, wailing. Calling out her name. Begging for her help. Begging for forgiveness. That was days ago. Two moons ago. Now all was quiet, except for the dying moans of those who survived.

"Mai-ya!"

Surprised, she turned towards the voice. A small boy was staring at her. She couldn't see, her eyes are now empty sockets. But she could feel his presence. He was asking for her help. She remembered that feeling. Alapaap, the cloud bearer, used to carry the children's prayers on his back. She sent Alapaap back with her voice at night. Children everywhere across the valley smiled in their slumber as she sang to them.

But there will be no more songs, she mused. She stared upward again, waiting for her tears to come.

"Mai-ya!" he screamed. This was not a cry for help. This was an exclamation of fear. She must have been a sight to behold for this child. Her long black hair, once the envy of the silk makers, now lay next to her. Her olive skin, that shone in the moonlight, was now jaundiced and gave off an eerie, sickly glow to her. Her soft hands that held newborns, now punctured and dirtied by jagged rocks. Her eye sockets, where her steely grey eyes used to be, now empty, hollow.

She felt like she was dying. But of course, she was not. Goddesses cannot die. They move on.

The little boy's footsteps ran away from her. Maybe he will find his family soon.

The sky then grumbled. She could feel the wind slowing down. She looked up and felt rain. A few drops at first, and then it poured. Buckets of water, almost drowning her. She looked up towards the sky. She could feel water fill up her hollow eyes.

And then it stopped. She looked down, and felt the warm water stream down her cheeks, towards her chin. She smiled. Bathala finally looked back.

It was then she understood what she has to do. With all her might, she drew the last of her powers from the earth. She called on the spirits of her babaylan, her priestesses. She called on Alapaap, the cloud bringer, Kabunyian, the hearth spirit, and Abra, her father, the river. She chanted, finding the last of her strength, the last of her voice, and then, it was over.

Underneath the rubble of a small hut, a young man, no more than fourteen, watched the goddess crumble away. The last few strands of her hair fell to the ground, and her olive skin cracked and eventually, turned into dust. He had been watching her ever since she descended from the mountains. He wanted to see everything she did, he was in awe of her. But he was soon terrified and towards the end, he had to shut his eyes in horror.

As soon as he felt safe, he climbed out of the pile of debris. His arm broken and his head bleeding, he looked around at the horrible path of destruction the goddess carved. He put his hand over his mouth in disbelief. His entire town was levelled to the ground.

Mai-ya M'kilingan, he thought. What have we done?